Riding the Wave...

So the current buzzword among technically erudite circles is Google Wave. And the not-so-tech-savvy people are feeling left out, so they're looking for Google Wave invites, just to "be among the elite". Of course, for a first-order geek, it always gives a strange kick to be among the first adopters of any new technology. It kinda improves their "tech quotient" among social (read geeky) circles.

I tried Google Wave too. For all the hype surrounding it, it disappointed me, to say the least. Even a tech-savvy person like me took some time to understand the concept, so I wonder whether ordinary users would be able to appreciate the significance of the concept. And even if they do, the point is it doesn't give you any earth-shattering improvement over good old Gmail. In fact, unless you explicitly "play" a wave, it looks like what programmers call Spaghetti code - a highly convoluted email chain with random insertions, completely devoid of any kind of sequence. Our eyes are accustomed to reading a mail conversation sequentially, so as long as conventional mail services exist, Google Wave would stand out as sore thumb. And as I mentioned before, most users are more than satisfied with what Gmail provides, so there is no need really, for a concept that's as drastically different as this.

Today, when the aim of technology is to spread itself as far and wide as possible, the focus should be on simplicity, rather than pathbreaking concepts. In such a scenario, I feel that Google Wave is destined to suffer a disturbingly rapid demise.

Hit Wicket

The current spat between Bal Thackeray and Sachin Tendulkar reminds me of a scene from the movie Chak De India. As the girls introduce themselves to Shahrukh Khan as "Balbir Kaur, Punjab!", "Komal Chautala, Haryana!", Shahrukh says - "Mujhe states ki naam na sunayie dethe hai, na dikhai dete hai. Sirf ek mulk-a-naam sunayie detha hai, I-N-D-I-A!!".

We Indians are unabashedly patriotic when it comes to sport. With all due respect to state teams, I think no one gives a damn when the Tamil Nadu cricket team defeats Maharashtra, or vice versa. But the international arena is one area where all of India unites together to support the team. Sachin is as equally loved by the rest of India, as is by Marathis. An achievement at the international level in any field, be it sport, literature or science, should be celebrated across the country. All of Sachin's achievements have been as an Indian batsman, not as a Mumbai batsman, so I think it is perfectly right for Sachin to say that he is an Indian first.

In today's pluralistic society (or is it?) such regionalism by Shiv Sena is a shame for Indian politics. I can only view it as a last-ditch attempt by the Sena to regain its stature, as it approaches its inevitable demise, caused due to a not-so-charismatic scion, as well as a super-aggressive rebel who's snatched the Sena's positioning from right under its nose.

Learning Consumer (Mis)behaviour

One thing that I've learnt during my MBA is that Marketing is an amazing ego-killer. You may be a student in a premier management college, with seven-figure salary prospects, but when you stand outside a store with a survey questionnaire in your hand, you're no more than a pest for people. You see the rude, harsh side of human behaviour, as lowly college students shoo you off with a dismissive wave of their hands, saying "Don't bug me, I have no time for you". You feel like telling them, even my chaddis are more expensive than all the clothes you have on your body, but you have to swallow your pride, and manage a smile. I got a stark reminder of this when I went to conduct a small survey a couple of days ago, at a posh apparel store in Pune. During the course of my survey, I got to observe several kinds of people. And their shockingly rude manners.

For some reason, all the shoppers seemed to rush out of the store as if a fire had broken out inside. If you tried to stop them midway to ask a couple of questions, they would impatiently ignore me and say, "jaao yaar...". There were the 40-plus uncles and aunties, who avoided me like a plague. I thought I was smartly dressed, but it seemed as if these people regarded me as some drug peddler trying to sell marijuana. Getting female respondents was an even more enlightening experience. Before the survey, I thought that a survey is a good pretext to talk to pretty girls. Then I found out the hitch: Girls rarely go alone for shopping. They are invariably accompanied by either their boyfriends or their husbands. The moment I get close enough to a girl to greet her, her guy suddenly springs forward, casting suspicious glances at me as if I am going to run away with his girl. I got no chance to redeem myself. Then there are some overenthusiastic college grads, who interrogated me with more questions than what I have on my questionnaire("Where is your college?","How much fees did you pay?","How can I get admission there?").

Finally, after five patient hours, I managed to get 20 respondents. But I got to learn more about how the world can be, if you aren't a recongnizable figure. As Dalton Russell from Inside Man says, "Respect is the ultimate currency."

Chennai Chicken..

These two months in Chennai have cleared many misconceptions of mine about Chennai. Or Tamilians, to be specific. 

Northies generally perceives Tamilians as devout, mild-mannered, religious, strict vegetarians, who consume idli-sambar for breakfast, lunch and dinner. On landing in Chennai, I was in for a surprise. People do eat idlis and dosas here, but the most popular dish here is chicken biryani! I swear there are as many biryani outlets here, as there are vada-pav stalls in Mumbai!

Probably one reason is that the Tamil Brahmin - the quintessential "Madrasi" has moved out of Chennai, to settle in more prosperous areas like Mumbai, or even better, the US. What is left behind in Chennai is the non-Brahmin, who gobbles down biryani and chomps on meat.

So all Northies, who sneer upon Tamilians as sissy pushovers, beware. The Tamilian is reborn!

Bollywood truths...

I was reading today's newspaper (TOI, Chennai edition), and had a glance through Chennai Times (the Chennai equivalent of Bombay Times). There were three interviews of newcomer actresses/starlets, and I noticed that there was one question that was put forth to all the three actresses : "What is your stand on doing nude scenes/kissing scenes?" The actresses gave the same, hackneyed answer: "I am not comfortable doing such scenes, but I will do them if they are 'aesthetically shot', by a good director".

This is not the first time. Over the past few years, I've read umpteen interviews of newcomer actresses, and ALL of them have been asked this question. Now I don't really have a right to profess morality, considering that I'm no saint, but this according to me is the lowest ebb of decency. They are just indirectly asking the girl, "Will we get to see you nude?". A reputed newspaper like Times of India stoops to this level with alarming regularity. And we talk of "Indian culture".

I sometimes pity the condition of actresses in the Indian film industry. There are some very specific expectations from them, as they enter the film industry. They all enter the industry with aspirations of becoming top actresses, without the skin show. Their role models are Kajol, Preity Zinta, and Rani Mukherjee. After a string of flops, they gain some wisdom and lose some clothes. Classic examples include Mahima Chowdhary and Diya Mirza. They entered the industry with a bang, and claimed that they wanted to become top actresses, without the skin show. Mahima Chowdhary, in fact, has stated in many interviews in that she is not comfortable revealing even cleavage or leg. Today, after six-seven years of consistent flops, you can see her in some b-grade movies, revealing more than just cleavage and leg. 

Diya Mirza's case is even more pathetic. A certified beauty (winner of Miss Asia-Pacific 2000), she is said to have rejected several roles because they involved kissing scenes and skin show. Several flops later, she had to do roles of a stripper (Tumsa Nahi Dekha) and even an item girl (Phir Hera Pheri). Other cases include Yukta Mookhey (Miss World 1999) and Hrishitaa Bhatt, who have long faded into oblivion after claiming to have Kajol and Rani as their role models. They were last seen doing item numbers in obscure Bhojpuri movies.

If Zeenat Aman and Parveen Babi brought forward the sensuality and oomph factor in the Indian actress in the late 70s and early 80s, then you've got to credit Mallika Sherawat taking it a dozen steps further. With just one movie and 17 kisses, she gave all the leading actresses a run for their money. Her antics made it mandatory for almost all other leading Bollywood actresses to become sex objects, being known only for their looks and curves rather than acting skills. And that trend is increasing with each passing day.

As I mentioned before on this blog, I get mostly Southie channels on my TV here. And I noticed that almost all South (Tamil/Kannada/Telugu) movie trailers have a more or less fixed pattern. A typical 30-second South movie trailer goes like this : It starts off with a shot of the hero making a grand entry somewhere, followed by a grotesque close-up of his facial features. This is followed by fleeting scenes of him bashing up some goons, after which you see him mouthing some emotional dialogues in a melodramatic scee. Finally the trailer ends with a brief shot of the heroine dancing vigorously. They've showcased all the ingredients that are supposedly part of "entertainment" - The hero and his fight-scenes for the action lovers, the emotional scene, and finally the heroine for titillation. The actress, hence, has nothing much to do, other than dancing vigorously and looking pretty.

And we talk of women's empowerment..

Chennai Chapter...

And so, out of the blue, I have been flung far away from my cosy Mumbai home to distant Chennai, for my summer internship. Thankfully I can speak the local language, so life is manageable. Just that I have to now adjust to a very limited range of options for my food, specifically four  - Idli, Dosa, Medu wada and Uttappa.

The positive point is that my office is airconditioned, and so is my guest house. Which is very comfortable, give the hot and humid Chennai weather. The downside is that the the TV in my guest house screens mostly southie channels, and I have only recently realized that there were so many south indian channels on air in the first place! 

Sample this:

Sun TV

Jaya TV

'K' TV

Asianet

Surya TV

Udaya TV

Gemini TV

And to add to it, there are also some Southie music channels (SS Music, Gemini Music, and some more that I can't remember), mostly beaming corny south indian music videos where oversized females heave bosom and pelvis with great gusto. Occasionally you find a few cute-looking girls, but mostly you feel pity for them coz fat, old and ugly men being passed off as 'heroes', move their hands and mouths all over the helpless girls.

Fortunately, SET Max is available, and so I enjoy most evenings glued to IPL.

Coming to Chennai, the transport system seems to be surprisingly well-organized (or maybe I had a wrong notion about Chennai). The buses are good, the trains aren't bad either. Neither are too crowded, and I generally have a comfortable journey to my office. Project work hasn't started off in full swing either, I'm just getting my bearings on the telecom industry.

Hopefully the good life will continue for the next 40 days...